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Phones, Pods and i

Have you noticed no one under the age of 30 says MP3 anymore? Nor do they say MP3 player. It’s all I’ve got the download this and iPod/iPhone that. Even if you don’t have an iPod and have different branded player… I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have an iPod and I certainly don’t know anyone who will openly admit to having a Zune. I must admit that as far as current techmology goes the iPhone is pretty swanky. With this space-aged gizmo I can obsessively check my email, settle bets using wikipeida, Google Map stuff and play the same (easy) demo of Labyrinth over and over again. All I need to do is say “Yo, let me use your iPhone for a minute.” It works out quite well for the most part and costs nothing more than a little bit of that person’s friendship for me being a moochy-mc-mooches-too-much.

Back on a serious note, the iPhone is the ultimate contraption and means serious business. It’s more awesome than a 10¢ moustache ride! So much so that it’s too much for me to handle. WAY too much. What it provides is exactly what I want, but excessively more than I need. What I need is to not have a gadget of infinite distraction at my finger tips. As I’m sure you know, literally everything is controlled by the fingertips! Touch Screen Baby! Ever since seeing Minority Report I’ve wanted screens to touch, push and pull on every whim. The iPhone is foreshadowing all of this…sans Tom Cruise. It’s truly exciting!


The problem is the internet. I love the Internet. I always have. I lack discipline. I always have. I love wikipedia. It’s a recent thing, but I always will. Have I mentioned that I love the Internet? I spend exponentially more time at work on the Internets (all of them) than I do working. (And yes, of course I am writing this at work now.) In university I would spend most of my days online. Doing what? Not really sure. Same thing I do now, I suppose. Browsing. Reading things. Not a big video watcher, more of a reader and link follower (aside: RSS feeds = super awesome). I don’t need all of this on the go. Imagine being an alcoholic (but you know…the awesome kind): sure you may want a drink most of the time but doing so might lessen the experience of something you’re doing at the time, like driving to the bar. It’s nice to focus on the moment sometimes – experience the human experience and leave the internet behind.

But I digress. I suppose technology only gets “bigger and better” going forward. My current self-proclaimed techmology ‘needs’ are a phone and an iPod. I use my phone primarily for text messaging and most calls I have are wrapped up in less than 90 seconds – I’m not a phone guy. I’ve got a 5th gen iPod video with an adequate amount of space to keep all the staples and some flavours of the day without having to add and remove too frequently. The iPhone sounds like the perfect solution but the sum of its parts is greater than the whole once the interweb is factored in:

Phone x iPod x Internet = iPhone

My needs are more modest than that:

Phone + iPod = iPho?

As I’ve tried to explain I don’t want the internet. Huh? What’s that? No, no, no, now YOU are being the silly one. You see I cannot get an iPhone and disable/not pay for the internet; what an absurd proposal! Without the awesome power the 3G I would be reduced to an obsession of finding wifi hotspots. Self control is a non-negotiable option. What I need is a phone with a gratuitous amount of memory for me to use as a portable music device, preferably one that looks like an apple branded product but is only functional as a phone and iPod. This guy is onto something.

So now I am wondering whether I’d be better off to love and lose (my soul or the iPhone itself – anything is possible) than to never love at all. I certainly wouldn’t want to get to the same state of obsession as this other guy. As I have said, I am content with not having one at the moment, at least with respect to functionality. I also don’t have the cash for one. There is an upside – now I’m old-school with my ‘retro’ devices. That’s cool too, right? So from now on when I get lost I will have to make do with googling from my cell phone to help me get to where I want to go, touch-screen technology will remain just out of reach and I certainly won’t be as cool as the people walking down the street who talk on their iPhones with ear-bud in and hold the phone up like a microphone. Can you really put a price tag on that brand of cool?

I want one.

I want one.

  1. October 29, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    I’ve been reading along for a while now. I just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up the good work.

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